I want to make a zoo with you.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize