My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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