So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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