Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
