is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
