At least make sure they are 18
Why
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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