the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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