hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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