On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So I just went to clothing optional bar
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
