Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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