I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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