my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
