The maid of honor just puked.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
