three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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