I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
