Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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