I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
