stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
