Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
