try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize