I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
