All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
