someone get that fucking seahorse.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
