Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
