I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
