turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
