Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I didn't notice because vodka
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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