Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
