Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
