the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
