I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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