I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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