i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
