Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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