hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
