At least make sure they are 18
Why
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
