this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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