you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
