I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
