so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
