Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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