How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
