she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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