One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
