Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
