ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
