so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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