Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize