What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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