is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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