i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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