would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
