I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
