I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
