Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
This is my gift to your gina
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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