He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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