Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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