If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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