Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
