She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
