handjob tips. give me some.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
