My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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