Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
