I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize