omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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