your thong is hanging out like whoa
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's official drugs can't kill me
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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