hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize