sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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