If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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