Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
