it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize